And so it happened....

I remember the first time I shared a connection with God. I , my mom and my little brother had gone to India during the Gulf War, and things were not pretty bright at the home front with mom being in India and Dad all the way back in the Gulf.
I was 6 years old then and mom used to be pretty upset and angry during that time because she was tensed about what was going on across the seas with Dad.

I was a topper when I was in my school in Dubai, and for some reason, I couldn’t keep that up when I came back to India. I had joined this Convent where the girls were not very friendly and the syllabus was more advanced than the one back in Dubai. I couldn’t cope up with it and kind of slided down on my studies which upset my mother all the more. That’s the first time, I started talking to God. He was the only one to hear me at that time. I know its kind of a very small thing but still, for a kid who is 10 years old, everything that happens to her will be a miracle.Being in a convent, we had a morning ,afternoon and evening prayer. There was no one to tell me like how I hear today about god and how we need him in our life , it was just an understanding that came by itself to me then…. And I remember this chapel in the convent which I used to love going to, the different feeling that you get when you walk into gods house.

I remember by the end of the year, I thinking I will flunk and during that time, it was something very huge for my little heart to think of, almost like dying! I really knew I would flunk for one paper because I did not write anything much in it.

I kept that secret to myself and everday I prayed to god, telling him how things will go bad at home if that happens, how everyone will be upset and how I wish I could go back to Dubai. The marks are going to be soo low!! Nosy relatives and neighbours will be there to put a finger on their nose and say ‘what a shame!’ (now a days, I don’t give a damn though!)

The report card was to be send to me via mail. We had no open house for the year end. It came the day my dad had come to kerala and things were getting better on the Gulf front. I got it in my hand, did not inform anyone and remember running to the puja room ( a small room in most of the keralites houses where we do our prayers),praying hard and opening the report card.

It had no marks, or comments just a single line that said, congratulations, you have been promoted to the sixth standard.

I jumped with joy! Ran to my parents and told them excitedly that I passed and I remember seeing their puzzled look which said what makes you so happy, there are no marks mentioned here!

Little did anyone know then about the little fear I had shared with god. Very soon after that , god made my next wish come true. We went back to Dubai as the Gulf War came to an end.

It’s a very innocent thing but during that time, it was something really really huge for me!!

Even today, nothing makes me feel better rather than sharing a conversation with God, my secret keeper J