A random post!

Am damn sure all of us would have had their own teenage crush! I had one too!

I remember that I always found it difficult to talk to this particular person! And all that I used to do at that time was make sure I looked good whenever I went out of the house or walk as if I did not care whenever I passed by him! Now that I feel like laughing at myself when I think of it!! It so happened I was one day wearing this dark blue dress which was kinda short and made me very uncomfortable and so my otherwise weak confidence was even lower by a few notches this time and I prayed I do not run into him that day.
The moment I saw him coming I did not know what to do (what must I do otherwise also? Nothing!). Just sometime back before that ,I was playing some stupid game on the terrace of our building!!

He came, I came, I din look at him, he passed by me and then I looked back!! I saw that he was also turned back to look but he made a funny face and seemed to be laughing at something! I did not like that look on his face and wanted to hit him!!! Anyways, I forgot about it and walked with my pride held high to my friends house.

When I went inside , her mom asked me what was on my back!!

Then she showed me that there was soo much of white dust on the back of my dress which I think came while I was on the terrace .It was even very evident because of the color of the dress. Sigh!! But is that something so funny?!!! I growled even more inside when I thought of how I walked around like am some princess in front of him while looking like a total idiot!!

I guess we all have our moments of embarrassment too, don’t we?!!

Modern Mahabharatha

I had promised myself to keep udating my blog regularly and to write whatever comes to my mind randomly so that i can keep up the writing habit and also improve it. But from the looks of it and my laziness, its just not coming up to the mark i wanted it to be!

Nothing to do yesteday, was lazing around after comign back from work when my friend came over. Thats when we got into the topic of abhimanyu( dont remember how!) , the guy who learnt to get into the chakravyuh while he was a baby in his moms womb but did not learn how to get out of it because his mom slept of while his dad was about to explain the same!! For those of you who dont know wht is a chakravuyh , its an ancient war method(mentioned in mahabharata) , a spiral battle formation by the enemies against their opponents which i guess is hard to break into!!not going into more deatils of it because I dont know much in depth about it but as the story goes, since abhimanyu did not know how to get out of it, they killed him inside it and that also by breakign the laws of wari.e by attackign him from all sides. Manipulation and betrayal existed even then!

Now thats not what i wanted to say, we were discussing it when i asked my friend 'if bollywood were to make mahabharata into a movie...which actors do you think are best suited for the various characters!' to which my mom who was watching tv turned to look at me and say 'dont you have any other job!'

nope i did not, i was jobless! And for some reason, i found this exciting!!

so it wen tlike this . Actually we couldnt do a good job .

We felt that Amitab Bachan can do the role of Bhishma. He had that strong personality

We couldnt actually decide on the rest of them to be frank! For krishna, the main character, she wanted to put sharukh khan!!

'he can charm anyone! he has those dimples' drooled my friend!! sigh! My mom suddenly interested said the name of a mallu actor who we both hated and our reaction was also the same! Shock! Then it became abhishek bachan and then the current fav .. Farhan Akhtar!

'How about Rajni kanth?' my friend laughed! oh yeah, i thot, all his othermovies also treat him like a semi god! But we dont want him, he will put tartar on the name of krishna though he might do all those flipping scenes this time with the flute !!

Panchali - First we thought of Priyanka chopra and then we heard my mom saying, panchali has to be someone sexy , strong and beautiful like bipasha basu!

Karna - hrithik roshan( my moms suggestion again .dont forget that in the begg she actually critisied me and now she is more interested than me)

Kunti - Rekha

Bhima - Sunil Shetty

others , we still couldnt decide on anyone !

'John Abraham and Arjun Rampal is also good !'.... my mom went on....

Krishna and Christ

Such a beautiful picture... For me, be it Christ or Krishna, whenever am there praying ,it is bliss and a feeling of security...

So yesterday...

So here Iam, on an other day, yesterday being quite eventful in its own way!

Its amazing how sometimes a persons character gets revealed to you. The way they think in general, the way they think about you and how sometimes they can be totally , utterly blind or idiots! Its true that when we talk , we should be careful as it reveals a lot about our character, who we are and all that in general. But then we have the really smart ones out there who know how to put the mask of perfection while inside they might turn out to 'totally opposite', the funny part being, not many people know who they reaaalllly are!

Coming back to me, yesterday, had a late night coffee at this starbucks joint with a friend. I forgot to take my wallet and my friend was dressed as if she just woke up from sleep. The guy at the counter kept asking me what she wanted and me wanted andgave the bill to me to pay . It looked funny when its she who pulled out her card to pay! Sitting at a coffee place or a restaurant, its interesting to watch people around you and especially to listen to conversations! yup , yup, am an eaves dropper. Of late, to be precise, i been an eaves dropper. yesterday though, there was nothing much to see around. We had three diff groups of people. One was an Indian guy with a Filipino girl , to which my friend kept asking me over and over again as to why Indian guys are always out with Filipinos? Was it like that?? Never noticed that much!

Then there was this mallu group sitting to our side , two men and a gal. One of the guys was bald and kept sipping out of his cup with a straw making all sort of noises with it. The other one , a nerdo kept talkign about his work and the stock market though I couldnt make it out much. Just one sentence he said that we both heard 'Just coz a company is blacklisted doesnt mean the company is black...' .
For some reason, the way he said it so seriously and other guy kept nodding to it, seemed too funny that we both started laughing and the laughing went on.The girl with them looked bored and sleepy.

After the coffee, we went to this lebaneese restaurant on the other side of the road, just on instinct.... the same reaction kept coming there too, people were staring at my friend coz all of them were dressed quite well, while she had this disheveled hair, unironed clothes and a sleepy look on her face. Again the waiters approached me and again it was she who took it from them and gave the card. We had nice kebabs and sheesha from there with no much interesting people around other than the guys who sat behind us, one of them kept getting messages on his phone to which he kept laughing and saying 'she is send a message again!' duh.

And so it happened....

I remember the first time I shared a connection with God. I , my mom and my little brother had gone to India during the Gulf War, and things were not pretty bright at the home front with mom being in India and Dad all the way back in the Gulf.
I was 6 years old then and mom used to be pretty upset and angry during that time because she was tensed about what was going on across the seas with Dad.

I was a topper when I was in my school in Dubai, and for some reason, I couldn’t keep that up when I came back to India. I had joined this Convent where the girls were not very friendly and the syllabus was more advanced than the one back in Dubai. I couldn’t cope up with it and kind of slided down on my studies which upset my mother all the more. That’s the first time, I started talking to God. He was the only one to hear me at that time. I know its kind of a very small thing but still, for a kid who is 10 years old, everything that happens to her will be a miracle.Being in a convent, we had a morning ,afternoon and evening prayer. There was no one to tell me like how I hear today about god and how we need him in our life , it was just an understanding that came by itself to me then…. And I remember this chapel in the convent which I used to love going to, the different feeling that you get when you walk into gods house.

I remember by the end of the year, I thinking I will flunk and during that time, it was something very huge for my little heart to think of, almost like dying! I really knew I would flunk for one paper because I did not write anything much in it.

I kept that secret to myself and everday I prayed to god, telling him how things will go bad at home if that happens, how everyone will be upset and how I wish I could go back to Dubai. The marks are going to be soo low!! Nosy relatives and neighbours will be there to put a finger on their nose and say ‘what a shame!’ (now a days, I don’t give a damn though!)

The report card was to be send to me via mail. We had no open house for the year end. It came the day my dad had come to kerala and things were getting better on the Gulf front. I got it in my hand, did not inform anyone and remember running to the puja room ( a small room in most of the keralites houses where we do our prayers),praying hard and opening the report card.

It had no marks, or comments just a single line that said, congratulations, you have been promoted to the sixth standard.

I jumped with joy! Ran to my parents and told them excitedly that I passed and I remember seeing their puzzled look which said what makes you so happy, there are no marks mentioned here!

Little did anyone know then about the little fear I had shared with god. Very soon after that , god made my next wish come true. We went back to Dubai as the Gulf War came to an end.

It’s a very innocent thing but during that time, it was something really really huge for me!!

Even today, nothing makes me feel better rather than sharing a conversation with God, my secret keeper J

The start....

Welcome All .

Thanks for peeping into my Blog.

This is my new blog, the old one ended on an abrupt note and I feel starting afresh is an indication of fresher days to come and of a fresh new page in life.I have no idea what am going to scribble down here but I hope atleast thisss time I can keep doing this on a regular basis!!

I have this tendency to write something only when am at work!Yes, I still cant figure out why that happens!! Nothing inspires me to write much than when am at work , the sad part being, writing is not my job profile!

Now back to work for the time being

Cheerio!!

NR